Unconventional Training Methods
by Ariesgirl666
Summary: In which Yang is the villain, Ruby and Blake are the heroes, and Weiss is a particularly uncooperative damsel in distress. My belated Valentine's Day/Single's Appreciation Day present to you guys. White Rose and Bumbleby. Takes place before Season 3, canon divergent. Rated T for Yang doing Yang things.


"You fiend!" Ruby Rose shrieked. "You will pay for your crimes!"  
Her opponent merely cackled evilly. And okay, it wasn't the _best_ evil laugh Ruby had ever heard, but it was up there with Roman's, so that was something.

"Mwahahahaha!" the wicked Yang Xiao Long laughed. "You take one more step and my captive will, uh…"  
"Get blown into a million pieces?" Ruby suggested in a stage whisper.  
"Yes! Get blown into a million pieces!" Yang agreed eagerly.

Said captive crossed her arms, or would have if she was not secured to a chair by a combination of rope and excessive duct tape. "Can somebody tell me why _I_ have to be the captive?"  
"Don't worry, Weiss!" Ruby shouted. "I'll save you! Superruby to the rescue!"  
"Give up now, Superruby!" her sister replied. "Nothing can defeat…The Yang!"

There was a pause.

"The Yang?" Ruby asked eventually.

"You've got to be kidding me," Weiss said, still struggling against her bonds.

Blake, who was standing off to the side, said, "Why are we doing this again?"  
"Shut up!" Yang said, pouting. "If you get to be Superruby, and Blake gets to be Blakeman, then I can be whoever I want!"  
"I'm sorry, what?" Blake said.

"You don't like Blakeman?" Ruby asked. "I guess we could do Batblake if you wanted…"

Yang opened her mouth and Blake pointed at her. "Yang Xiao Long, if you make a cat joke, I'm leaving you."

Yang shut her mouth.

"Anyyyyway," Ruby said. "This is your last warning, Yang!"  
"It's _The Yang_!" the blond shouted.  
"Whatever!" her younger sister shouted back. "Release the hostage, now!"

"Or what?"  
Ruby looked to Blake for help.

"Uh…we'll attack you?" Blake offered unenthusiastically.

Yang cackled again. "Don't worry, Batblake…you'll get your chance to be tied up soon enough!" Yang winked, a not-so-subtle innuendo, and it had the desired effect –a flush spread up Blake's pale neck.

"How dare you seduce my teammate!" Ruby shouted, standing on a table with her hands on her hips in the designated superhero pose. The fan that they'd set up made her red cape flow behind her. Blake was wearing a cape too, although hers was just a black bedsheet. It was the kind of thing that made one question one's life choices. Yang was wearing a mask made out of a yellow pillowcase with eyeholes cut into it.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the notorious villainess said. "Would you prefer I seduced my _captive_?" she grinned evilly and curled her fingers around the back of Weiss's slender neck possessively.  
"Nooooo!" Ruby hollered. "Weiss, hang in there! I'm coming for you!"  
Weiss rolled her eyes. "Ruby, you're the one who duct-taped me to this chair!"  
"That was for dramatic effect," the red-cloaked girl explained. "And my name is Superruby!" she puffed out her chest.

"Come at me, Superruby!" Yang said, stepping away from her 'captive' and raising her fists. "I'll show you the full force of my powers!"  
"And we'll show you the full force of…uh…justice!" Ruby said, leaping into the air and swinging Crescent Rose as the two sisters descended upon each other, one trailing rose petals, the other trailing fire, as good and evil clashed in an epic match of…  
"Stop pulling my hair, Ruby!" Yang shouted as her younger sister entangled her pale hands in Yang's golden hair and yanked.  
"Never, you fiend!" Ruby shouted. "Let go of my arm!"  
"Make me!" Yang said, sticking out her tongue, and Ruby bit Yang's arm.

"Ow-ow-ow! No biting!"

"You must be kidding me," Blake said as the two sisters rolled around on the floor, yanking at each other's hair and throwing insults.

"Midget!"

"Hothead!"  
"Unoriginal!"  
"Destructive maniac!"

Blake and Weiss exchanged a glance. "Blake, could you untie me please?" Weiss asked.

"It's Batblake!" Ruby and Yang exclaimed together, and then resumed their fighting.

Blake sighed. "Sure."

It took her a while, but she managed to untie the mess of knots and duct tape and free the heiress who stood, rubbing her aching arms. Ruby wriggled out from under her sister. "Batblake! You arrest this criminal! I'll get the civilian to safety!"

Blake didn't have time to argue before Ruby had scooped up Weiss, princess style, in her arms. Weiss only looked mildly annoyed as she put her arms around Ruby's neck. Ruby looked delighted.

"Superruby saves the day again!" she shouted proudly.

"My hero," Weiss said dryly.

"It isn't over yet!" Yang shouted, lunging towards Ruby, but Blake sprung forward and intercepted her, tackling the blond to the ground and securing her with her hands clamped on the other girl's wrists, straddling her waist.

Yang grinned suggestively up at her girlfriend. "You know…"  
"Whatever you're going to say," Blake said. "Please don't."  
Yang winked. "I was just going to say how much I liked you on top."  
"Didn't need to hear that!" Weiss shouted from the arms of her 'savior'.

"Yeah!" Ruby added. "Evil villain, we have you now! Stop hitting on my partner and, um, submit to arrest!"

But when she looked over, the two girls were locked in a passionate kiss, Blake still straddling Yang.

Ruby coughed pointedly. "A _hem_."

They broke apart guiltily.

"Okay, well then, training exercise is over!" Yang said, cheeks flushed. "Why don't you kids run outside and I'll stay here with Blake and…uh, discuss. Strategies."

"Yeah. Good plan. Let's go. _Now_ ," Weiss stressed.

Ruby adjusted her grip on the white-haired heiress. "You comfy, Princess?"

Weiss tightened her arms around Ruby's neck and nodded as they zipped off in a flurry of rose petals.

Ruby landed them in the yard outside Beacon and set Weiss down.

"Well," Ruby said. "That was fun."

"Yeah," Weiss said, smiling despite herself. She turned as if to leave, and then turned back. "Oh, and I almost forgot…"

She leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to her savior's lips.

"Thanks for the save, hero."  
Ruby turned scarlet. "A-anytime," she managed.

Weiss crossed her arms. "But next time, _you're_ the damsel."  
Ruby sighed, because she'd been dating Weiss for a little while now and she knew what that expression meant –she was _not_ winning this fight.

"Fine."


End file.
